It’s a simple truth, really. Dogs? Pure joy. They love unconditionally, always think you’re the greatest human alive (even when you’re in your worst sweatpants), and never send passive-aggressive texts. People, on the other hand? Oh, people… they come with group chats, unsolicited opinions, and the audacity to ask, “Can I pick your brain?” for free.

Your dog doesn’t care about deadlines, small talk, or whether or not you “seem mad.” They don’t force you into awkward networking events or comment “We need to catch up soon!” with zero intention of following through. No, dogs are simple creatures—give them treats, belly rubs, and a comfy spot on the couch, and they’ll love you forever. Meanwhile, humans? They’ll debate pineapple on pizza like it’s a Supreme Court case and still send you Zoom invites for what should have been an email.

This shirt is a statement, a philosophy, and honestly, a warning. If you get it, we’ll get along just fine. If you don’t… well, you probably make life complicated, and my dog and I definitely talk about you (see our other shirt for details).

Key Features:
🐾 Dog-approved wisdom – Because they know they make life better.
😏 A subtle jab at humanity – But let’s be real, it’s earned.
🐶 Soft enough for cuddles – Because if your dog isn’t shedding all over it, are you even besties?
👕 Unisex fit for all dog lovers – Because people being annoying is a universal experience.

Wear this shirt as a reminder that the only unconditional love comes from dogs, and the only real drama-free relationships involve a wagging tail. If anyone disagrees? Well, they just proved the point. 🐕💅

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!