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not for everyone

you're thinking it.
we just printed it.

Results may include side-eye and awkward conversations.

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Not designed to be liked. Designed to be honest.

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Thought Merch is for the politically incorrect, the masters of sass, and anyone with an attitude. We sell all types of merch.

Sprinting after success in broken shoes and unreso

Sprinting after success in broken shoes and unresolved trauma.

My goals are Usain Bolt. I am a raccoon in flip-flops.

Running, crying, manifesting. In that order.

#DreamsWithArestrainingOrder #NeverCaughtUp #CardioForCapitalism #DelusionalAndDizzy

You didn’t ask. You didn’t agree. You didn’t even

You didn’t ask. You didn’t agree. You didn’t even know it was happening.

And yet — here you are, on a Task Force with Chad from Marketing.

Because at this company, volunteering is just failing to run fast enough.

#VoluntoldAgain #FakeInitiative #CorporateCageMatch #PointlessMeetings #HRSpinZone

Welcome to late-stage capitalism, where your morni

Welcome to late-stage capitalism, where your morning alarm doubles as your villain origin story.

Shout out to every overachiever who believed hustle culture would unlock generational wealth but instead just unlocked a
neck cramp and soul erosion.

Tag your tired friends. If they respond, they’re not grinding hard enough.

#BurnoutCore #CapitalismFatigue #RiseAndWhimper #ToxicProductivity #MotivationIsAMyth #IGmemes #WorkHardFeelNothing

Start your day with self-doubt and stale coffee.

Start your day with self-doubt and stale coffee.

Hustle culture wants your soul and your weekends.

Grinding so hard I’ve become mulch.

#RiseAndSpiral #MorningMeltdown #CapitalismCompost #GrindTillYouFlatline

Your 5-year plan is now a 45-minute Zoom that coul

Your 5-year plan is now a 45-minute Zoom that could’ve been an email.

Your inner child is hiding in a Slack thread.

But hey — at least you get snacks. Sometimes.

#MeetingSurvivor #DreamsOnMute #IGmemes #AdultingIsOverrated #CorporatePurgatory

Teamwork means group failure with snacks. I contr

Teamwork means group failure with snacks.

I contributed. Emotionally. That counts.

Let’s circle back to me not caring.

#NotMyProject #TeamDisasterVibes #GroupWorkGroupTherapy #MediocreAndProud

You’ve given everything. Time, effort, sanity. An

You’ve given everything. Time, effort, sanity.

And now? A deeply conditional “thank you” that may be rescinded without notice.

Appreciation is temporary. Burnout is forever.

#ThanksButNoBonus #HRBudgetCuts #EmotionalSeverance #PerformanceWithoutPerks #CapitalistThankYouNote

Is it ambition? Or dissociation in a blazer? Eith

Is it ambition? Or dissociation in a blazer?

Either way, that iced coffee died for nothing.

Tag someone who hasn’t tasted their drink in three sips but keeps ordering it anyway.

#CryBrew #OfficeSadnessSpecial #LateCapitalismLatte #GrindAndWeep #ProductivityCult

Rest isn’t weakness. It’s strategy. Also, I physic

Rest isn’t weakness. It’s strategy. Also, I physically can’t get up.

Burnout recovery plan: lay down and stay there.

Fall. Fail. Nap. Repeat.

#MotivationalCollapse #LayDownLegends #FailureWithFlavor #TooTiredToRise

Playing nice. Smiling in meetings. Crying in the p

Playing nice. Smiling in meetings. Crying in the parking garage.

You're not a team player — you're a trauma performer.

Let’s hear it for the masked burnout brigade.

#TherapyWearsHeels #SmilingThroughIt #WorkTraumaDump #CoworkersNotFriends #CapitalismDrama

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